How to Read an Ultrasound
Ultrasound images don’t print up well in a regular book. You need fancy glossy paper for them and my book didn’t get that unfortunately, so all ultrasound images were cut out. So welcome to the glossy pages of this website…

The Seven Week Ultrasound

I wish I could help out with the seven week ultrasound, but it is pretty much impossible to tell anything from it. The ultrasound nurse (and your partner) will tell you that they see things there, but it is all lies. The only thing you can see with any clarity is the heartbeat. All else is wishful thinking.

The only good thing is that most people don’t have to suffer through one of these as they are usually only done when you go through IVF.

7 week ultrasound 

The Twelve Week Ultrasound

Now you can actually see something vaguely looking like a baby in there – even without squinting your eyes.

The twelve week ultrasound is the first real check up of the foetus. This is when they check for abnormalities such as Down syndrome. They do this by measuring the liquid at the back of the neck. This is as much an art as a science so I hope for your sake that you get a good ultrasound nurse who knows what she’s doing.

I’ve read that it is possible to tell the gender of the child from the twelve week ultrasound. This may be possible for someone who has spent their whole life in isolation only studying ultrasound images for peckers. For anyone else it is about as hard as finding talent in the Big Brother house. It just isn’t possible.

It has been said that a foetus displays features from our evolutionary past, such as a vestigial tail. Personally I think the twelve week ultrasound images prove beyond a doubt that Darwin was wrong – our real ancestors were obviously aliens.

 12 week ultrasound

The Twenty Week Ultrasound

I don’t know about anyone else, but it seems the general expectation is that you are supposed to find ultrasounds amazing and make you all emotional and stuff. Personally I find them scary as hell.

Look at that image! It looks like something directly from the Alien movie series.

Apart from this, the twenty week ultrasound is a checkpoint to verify there are no abnormalities. They measure pretty much everything you can imagine to ensure the baby is growing in all the right places.

 20 week ultrasound