I’m trying to find a publisher for a non fiction book (check my website for more info), but no luck so far. Perhaps you think I need more than luck to get published after having read a few of my blogs entries. You may be right. I haven't got a publishing deal yet.

What I do have though is a bunch of rejection letters and I thought I’d share some selected tidbits out of them. Why would I do that, you ask? Because getting published is a process and a rejection is something one should learn from – or so I thought before reading them at least…

Let’s start with one that could be smacked straight on the dust jacket (at least the first sentence):
“Mikael has a great voice - I loved this read! Unfortunately, the US market is flooded with similar books, and without a prominent celebrity author to promote this memoir, I'm afraid we'd have a hard time finding a large audience.”

So all I need to do now is become a celebrity? How hard could that be? Perhaps entering the Big Brother house next year would do?

Let’s try another one:
“I read this with interest and while I admired the voice, I'm sorry to say that in the end we thought this was too quiet for our list. I'm certain that others will feel differently though, and I wish you and the author the best of luck in placing this successfully.”

Hmm…Let me give you an idea of how quiet my writing is:
"This was in no way helped by the doctor telling me my mutant sperm could be the result of sickness like mumps or possibly radiation. She even went to the extent of asking me where I was when the Chernobyl disaster happened. I felt like telling her that I was actually standing inside the nuclear reactor waving my cock around for all to see at the time and did she really think that could have anything to do with it?"

I don’t know about you, but how you define that as quiet, I don’t know. Perhaps they mean I should use upper case a bit more? Yeah…that must be it.

And a final one:
“It was very difficult to convince Sales that the power of the writing would overcome the limitations of the genre and the inevitability of the book ending up in the pregnancy section… Having travelled the IVF road with two sisters, it would be refreshing to read from the males pov.”

The power of writing indeed. Why couldn’t I get cool powers like Spiderman? It reminds me of a saying: “The pen is mightier than the sword…but only if the sword is really really small and the pen is very sharp.”

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